…So I Can Too

I need time. Time for the exhaustion to move on. Time for the uncertainty to dissolve. Time for the love to grow. Time for the fear to subside. I need time for the life I live to be felt and realized and appreciated, not constantly rushed through and missed. I need time for a moment to become a moment. I need time to understand the breeze on my arms and my legs. And I need time for the afternoon sun on my cheek bones and forehead to settle in. I need time to fully inhale the breath at my proximity. I need time to sit on that bench that I’ve ridden past so many times. I need time to look west and finally rest my eyes upon the blue of the front range that I’ve seemed to miss all summer. I need time to fall in love. I need time to find a connection worth the connection. I need time to talk to her. I need time to listen to her. I need time next to her. I need time to listen to myself. I need time to learn about myself. I need time to conjure a proper response to all my fears and all the doubts I see each day. I need time to react. I need time to recover. I need time to progress. I need time to improve. I need time to become who I am. I need time to love who I am. I need time to forgive myself. I need time to appreciate the grass at my toes. I need time to smile and to become lost in an action. I need time to become present in myself and in the world at my senses. I need time to understand our histories and our stories. I need time to realize where I am now because of the storyline of my life. I need time to be here. I need time to be calm. I need time to be scared. I need time to be destructive. I need time to be joyous and reverberating. I need time to taste. I need time to savor. I need time to be as young as I am now. I need time to be as old as I am now. I need time to express. I need time to write. I need time to find my voice. I need time to develop the story I wish to live. I need time to decide. I need time to visualize. I need time to be confident. I need time to hate myself. I need time for penance. I need time to believe in myself. I need time to trust myself and those around me. I need time to hope. I need time to care. I need time to feel and believe in the good that can be. I need time to work. I need time to struggle. I need time for effort. I need time to push. I need time to soften. I need time to do it’s work within me and let me be. I need time to continue moving forward so I can too.