Not Right

I am the common denominator. The anguish and the shit I feel on a daily basis is my doing. I bring experiences into my world aware of the pain they will cause. But my heart and mind are more concerned with the fleeting pleasure or memories they may offer. And that now sickens me. I only find solace in asking forgiveness and laying my body at the altar of others, showing them my faults and mistakes and asking them to give me more time. I ask them to give me more time to cure myself and figure out and fix my fault and mend my mistakes. But looking upon it all now, will I ever change?